Every day, literally every day, I get messages saying “why help these idlers, our own people are struggling too, let them find a job!” Others say they are themselves struggling, but are not “begging”. Every time I explain why this is false logic, but people keep coming and spitting their venom. I want to respond: just walk by, nobody’s forcing you to give money. It’s all voluntary. It’s up to you! But most importantly, never make such comparisons! Everyone is in a different situation, individual people are different too. Thank God you can make do without assistance! Not everyone is that strong, dammit. I’m writing banalities here, but where is all this anger coming from?
People! Just be thankful you don’t know what it is to be under mortar fire! Or spend the night in a bomb shelter! Be thankful you don’t know what it’s like to live for several years without electricity or tap water.
And you know what? It seems everyone thinks they would do everything right in that situation! That they know how to live right because they are so awesome! They’d leave Donbass, find work someplace else, their husband would never abandon them, and they would definitely would not let an asshole like that be the father of their children, and in the end they’d proudly collect alimony. He’d never hide from them!
Nothing of the kind.
I’ll say one thing–don’t tempt fate! Nobody knows what will happen. Just be thankful none of that happened to you. Walk by if you don’t want to help, but don’t judge! Life is unpredictable and the law of boomerang works all too well, as I’ve seen.
What is this all about? Many people are criticizing the family of our Ira from Vergunka. They condemn her, the kids, us for helping. But Ira does not have it easy, and she’s no beggar. She always works, often on multiple jobs. She’s alone, with two kids. She never asks for anything and never complains.
I sometimes ignore some details, it’s hard to repeat them post after post. That’s why Irina gets it all at once.
Ira’s home is in Vergunka, which is that part of Lugansk that’s close to Ukrainian positions. Half the village was destroyed by rocket artillery. But it’s not as if the other half was unscathed. Half of Irina’s street is in ruins. You’ll see many ruins on the way there. Her home was badly damaged. When all hell broke loose, Ira was pregnant with Vovka. She grabbed her documents, daughter, and ran to Lugansk. Where she gave birth. When she returned, half the house was destroyed and the rest was looted! Everything! I remember her saying that even dish towels were stolen. Where was the husband? He RAN OFF!
They haven’t had contact since. He’s alive and well. I’m often written that, well, I’ve been calling him names but perhaps he’s doing poorly. No, he’s just fine–he’s on social media, he puts “likes” on women’s posts. He’s written his daughter once or twice.
Vergunka has not had normal water supply for years. Electricity was missing for a long time too, they lived by candlelight.
With great effort, we’ve managed to get her roof back up, with the assistance of concerned people and my readers. LPR installed windows. A neighbor, using what was available (clay, cobblestones) restored her wall.
We’ve been constantly helping them for years. Food, repairs, forks, spoons, pots, clothing for the kids, medications. Even a computer for the daughter. Dear Lord, how much garbage I had to read in the comments when I asked for one for Vika–the girl wants to go to medical school). I was told that I and Vika had some nerve to ask for an i-phone. What i-phone? I never found out. I suppose people were just envious. But the main thing is that Ira, Vika, or especially Vovka never asked anything of us or anyone else, ever! It was wholly our idea and initiative. We’re trying to help this family survive!
They’ve lived in a home all these years that has been partly destroyed. While walls have been patched up, they are still bare, without stucco.
Our amazing Boris from Kazan made a present for Ira for New Year! He paid for the repair materials (see photo). It was a miracle, and there are no words to describe Ira’s joy. Now they are slowly fixing up the kitchen.
Boris, you are a real human being! Thank you from our entire team and the family!!!
Photos with construction materials are below. Also reports on aid for the last two months.
We try to visit the family as often as we can. Last time, Ira really scared us. I’m citing Zhenya:
“Before New Year, she went for a check-up. Some young gynecologist categorically said “You have cancer” (!!!). We come for New Year, and she sits there all grey, glass eyes, only her lips shiver. “I have cancer”. We started asking questions, then convincing her one should not just accept that diagnosis. We had a histology done. For two weeks she was in limbo. In the end–NO CANCER. Oncologist said “yes, it’s clear she had a difficult birth that required surgery, but what dirtball issued you this diagnosis?” (literally)
Ira will have a surgery in February. We’ll need to buy some medications. One can never guess what exactly, it all depends on what the official humanitarian convoys deliver from Russia.
But we know from experience one always must buy something.
The aid is necessary, and we’ll be very grateful if you help Ira. Please label such contributions “Ira”.
Big thanks to all who participate in our aid for this family! It is difficult for Ira to deal with it on her own.
If you want to join the aid effort for the people of the Donbass, please write me in person through LiveJournal, facebook, V Kontakte, or email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Paypal address: email@example.com.
If you want to help this specific family, please label your contributions “Ira”.